Read Ephesians 5:21-33
I have to tell you, after volunteering and first receiving this particular Scripture passage “assignment,” I mentally backed away, jokingly thinking, Whoa…thanks a lot! I am to write on these topics?! Sticky subjects in our current culture, even among Christian households! However, we can trust God’s Word! Our Father loves us and wants His best for us.
In these Scriptures, Paul outlines roles God designed for wives and husbands within marriage for a satisfying and joyful union. Apparently, two traits are needed most: submission and selflessness.
God begins His marital instruction with husbands and wives submitting to one another (Eph. 5:21). Why did our Father begin with submission between spouses? The answer lies in God’s intention for marriage.
Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology provides an exciting explanation:
The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve Him. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.
Isn’t that beautiful? God intends marriage to reflect the Trinity’s relationships! Baker goes on:
In the Trinity the Father leads, the Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. However, all three are fully and equally deity. Likewise, male and female in the marriage relationship are of the same nature and essence, equal as persons (Gal 3:28), intimate in relationship, common in purpose, but distinct personalities with different roles.
Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV) reveals wives’ submission to husbands reflects Christ and the Church. A wife’s submission to her husband is a beautiful reflection of us as Believers surrendering to Jesus. I humbly submit (no pun intended) to wives some probing questions:
- Do I resist submitting? If so, what is the root cause?
- When I soften my heart to my husband in Jesus’ name, what are the results in our marriage and in my heart?
Moving on to husbands, why does God directly tell husbands to love their wives? Isn’t it natural for a husband to love his wife? But we all need role models, and what better role model for men to follow than Jesus Christ in His love for His bride? (see verses 25-27).
Please reread Eph. 5:28-29
Some direct questions for husbands:
- Am I loving my wife in a way she feels loved? (the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman could be a huge help)
- How am I following Christ’s example in loving her?
It’s not easy being vulnerable; submission and selflessness go against our human nature. However, when we operate according to God’s design, the rewards are rich and endless! Dear brothers and sisters, in our weakness He becomes strong! 2 Corinthians 12:9 encourages us in our aim to glorify God through reflecting the Trinity in our marriages:
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.
Long live God’s perfect design for the marriage relationship!
(Diedra Barrett, North by Northwest home group)